Hazel Nutt — and all the other Nutts

Holiday Blog #6 – Crazy Love

I’m worried about Hazel…

At this time of year, she ought to be adding the last few goodies to her stockpiles for the spring, hiding them carefully from the birds and raccoons so they’re waiting for us when the warmer weather arrives. Not that she was ever very good at remembering where they were, when the time came… Nonetheless, she is quite a good gatherer, and even in these bad economic times she’s been able to keep our nest egg intact and even growing a little. Until recently.

In the last three months, she’s seemed preoccupied – not her usual lovable scattered self, but focused, as it were, on some strange purpose of her own. I’ve tried to get some hint about what it might be, but only a few words scribbled on scraps of paper on her desk give any clue: ‘love’, ‘strip’, ‘vise’, ‘compound squeeze’, ‘backwash’, ‘threat’, ‘end position’ and ‘unrestricted’ are all somewhat darkly suggestive – ‘deep finesse’ is perhaps the worst of all.

For awhile I worried that she might have met someone, perhaps someone with whom she could form a new partnership – at least at the bridge table. Then I realized that she had been rather uncharacteristically neglecting her personal grooming (her tail is looking especially bedraggled at the moment), so this seemed unlikely.

The other indicator is her internet usage, which has increased dramatically. Some of the titles of her music downloads seemingly tie into my worst fears:

Love is all around

All you need is Love

Love is a many-splendored thing

What the world needs now is Love…

Love is on my mind

…You get the idea.

Not only this, but she is conducting a voluminous correspondence with someone in Wales (Wales!), lengthy emails filled with these same alarming terms, alongside others that I hesitate to repeat here.

Recently, though, there have been signs she is coming out of it – more music downloads and less of the disturbing activity. So perhaps, with the holidays coming and a warm-weather bridge tournament coming up, we can put it behind us. I don’t care if she’s the only squirrel who can recognize a Type L restricted compound squeeze position, whatever that is – I just want the old Hazel back.


Hazel NuttNovember 23rd, 2009 at 5:32 pm

“Down With Love”

Hum… Hum …

“I Lay My Love On You”

Hum … Hum

“Love’s Holiday”

Hum… Hum

over to the editoral production department

the editorial production departmentNovember 23rd, 2009 at 6:41 pm

“Love Hurts”

doo de doo…

“What’s Love Got to Do with It?”

er um.. de doo de doo

“Help me I think I’m falling… in Love too fast..”


Frank SmithNovember 24th, 2009 at 3:48 pm

I don’t understand this blog…

Where’s the bridge?

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